Quasi-Française: An Australian woman on a French mission

Ways you know you’re an Australian woman who’s adopted French ways of life:

1 You only buy a baguette once a week, but it’s still your weekly routine to do so!
2 You spend half your income on French cheese for nostalgic reasons, but instead of enjoying a little bit of cheese after dinner like the French, once the camembert is out of its box you devour the entire wheel in minutes!
3 You drop a French word in conversation with friends every now and then, because well, you believe that they should speak French too. Pas d’excuse!
4 You never pronounce a French word with an Australian accent, otherwise you feel as though you’re letting the French down. It’s la france, la crêpe, le croissant! 
5 You love your clothing staples that make you feel like you're in France: brown trench coat, ankle boots, expensive jeans, scarves galore, your marinière. But Bonds undies are still your bestest friend in the world!

6 When you meet a French stranger, you have just enough Australian modesty to hold back speaking French, but inside you just want to tell them to shut-up and speak French so you can practise!
7 You replace the cream in your gratin with low-fat Greek yogurt - if you ate an Australian-portion sized gratin with cream, well, forever on the hips!
8 You find yourself getting into a heated monologue about French politics, only to look at the faces of the people you’re talking to, and remembering that most Australians don’t give two hoots about politics at all!
9 You have a love-hate relationship with the smell of cigarette smoke because that pungent smell brings back instant memories of France.
10 But most of all, given this strange Australian-French complex that you’ve embodied, you wouldn’t have it any other way.